Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
