I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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