i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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