There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
