I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
