I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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