It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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