And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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