So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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