I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
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dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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