those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We named our party play list daddy issues
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
