You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
