You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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