he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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