I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
