I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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