I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
MIDGETS
????
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
