My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I believe in your delicious
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
