i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
