Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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