Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize