He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
