u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
