Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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