you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
