Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
