I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize