You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize