we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
