stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
