Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize