my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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