she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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