shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
only you would photoshop your dick
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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