I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
