I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
