i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
