Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
