I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
