big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
