Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
