you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
