My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
