just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
