Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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  (404): Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are. http://tfl.nu/hb6o
  Replies (10) Good night (3647) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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  (480): get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch http://tfl.nu/ncix
  Replies (17) Good night (1083) Bad night (3084)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6445) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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  (301): You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain http://tfl.nu/26nd
  Replies (10) Good night (4191) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.

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  (847): Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed. http://tfl.nu/o4oh
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny

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  (609): Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny http://tfl.nu/e2zy
  Replies (23) Good night (2710) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer

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  (519): I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer http://tfl.nu/z4my
  Replies (4) Good night (1262) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

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  (810): my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. http://tfl.nu/947a
  Replies (12) Good night (2439) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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  (516): What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner? http://tfl.nu/aj21
  Replies (12) Good night (554) Bad night (1591)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

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  (907): She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music http://tfl.nu/408g
  Replies (18) Good night (3715) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  (216): there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him http://tfl.nu/zgop
  Replies (1) Good night (1268) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"

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  (780): They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge" http://tfl.nu/puda
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.

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  (734): This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts. http://tfl.nu/fqt4
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
  Replies (5) Good night (717) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.

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  (540): When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become. http://tfl.nu/2ybp
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (372)

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