please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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