Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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