He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.