Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won

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(770): View more from Georgia

Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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(989): View more from Michigan

It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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(703): View more from Virginia

THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT

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(423): View more from Tennessee

In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.

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(620): View more from Kansas

YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!

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