Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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  (508): member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games? http://tfl.nu/dghf
  Replies (21) Good night (1472) Bad night (3042)
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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  (331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/k0dm
  Replies (13) Good night (5518) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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  (401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb
  Replies (12) Good night (8142) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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  (515): She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself. http://tfl.nu/imt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4597) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them

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  (503): I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them http://tfl.nu/p9tn
  Replies (12) Good night (2753) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

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  (712): Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore. http://tfl.nu/hjm6
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (3318)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

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  (919): I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process. (1-919): Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/dsex
  Replies (3) Good night (4328) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.

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  (207): you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy. http://tfl.nu/cio1
  Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting

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  (941): I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting http://tfl.nu/c2bq
  Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands

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  (303): We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands http://tfl.nu/8ws6
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1271) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

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  (+44): it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck http://tfl.nu/0y2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1973) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(

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  (419): She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :( http://tfl.nu/482z
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  You sprinted into the side of a parked car

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  (705): You sprinted into the side of a parked car http://tfl.nu/8ptj
  Replies (0) Good night (855) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE

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  (425): I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE http://tfl.nu/sn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (513)

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