i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!