did you get engaged???
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
