babies were throwing up all over the place
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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