i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
