That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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