I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
