Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
