And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize