Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
