May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize