I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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