Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
