the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
