Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
