Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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