you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
